Hey there kids...i hope you dont mind me sayin' a few things about oats...

A' course everyone knows that if you add water to oats, well that's Oatmeal

But did you know, if you add water to Oatmeal you get Porridge?

Thats right, Porridge, the food of choice for Orphans and Hobos is just watered down Oatmeal.

Or, if you still want more water in your oats, so much water that theres hardly any oats at all....thats Gruel!

A favorite at prison camps.

But what about Grits?

Well, and this ain't no shit, grits is just a fancy name for porridge.

If you don't believe me, well you can just go on ahead and look it up on that there computer of yours they got numbers and shit to prove it

and i'll tell you something no scientist is gonna tell ya', you cock-eyed little sum' bitch...i eat a gallon of oats every gott damn day and it keeps my dick harder than a japanese guitar solo

Hit me

I dare you

I'LL fight ANY MOTHER FUCKER IN THIS ROOM!!

remember to check your blood sugar
and check it often
...or i'll tickle you till you bleed