Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Invention is the wicked-step-mother of necessity

Thanks to the miracle of modern technology, people are finally completly happy with their lives. In celebration of this momentous occasion...lets take a look at a few inventions that made it all possible.

I thought this first one was sort of allows you to read your own thoughts...
thoughts are picked up through the roundish parts, and sent through a series of filters allowing you to think in the voice of Sean Connery, David Attenburough, Gilbert Godfried, Stephen Hawking, or virutually anyone...I'm wearing mine right now. I've got it set to Bobcat Goldwaith.

This gentleman is set to Macy Gray.

I feel this is an odd way to market a vibrator...
Can you find the invention in this next ad?
Thats right!...the Heimlich Maneuver invented in 1974 by Henry Jay Heimlich.

With your arms tucked firmly at your sides...
...You're finally free to hit your head on things really hard!

You've got your hair done and your lipstick on reeeal pretty. Your almost ready for that big date. But, if you really want to make an impression, don't forget a few drops of perfume!

Scientists have discovered the real reason masturbation makes you blind, and stepped up to do something about it...
With your hands free and your eyes protected theres no good reason to stop!

Are your lips dry and cracked? Are you pissed off and not going to take it anymore?!Rub it all over yourself and tell your mom "Fuck you Bitch, you clean out the lint trap!"

When all the architecture has crumbled, when all our bones have been reduced to ash and dust...these little puppies will still be goin' strong...
to live on forever as a testament to our ingenuity.

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